Friday, March 14, 2014

Crowd of Dreams

Five Minute Friday

My Sister in Law, Grace, challenged me in our accountability call to start writing again. "If you don't want to write your own blog post, at least join in on Five Minute Friday. You can do that."  At her prodding I agreed, although hestantly. Five Minute Friday has come and gone at least once since then, but here is my addition, late though it may be.
Here are the rules:
 1. Write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking.
2. Link back here and invite others to join in.
3. Please visit the person who linked up before you and leave an encouraging comment.

 Life has changed tremendously--gone places I could never have foreseen just three months ago. We have a backyard now, and a dog, a sweet not-so-little playhouse on stilts and nearly an acre of land to call our own. And then there is the baby--a sweet little girl due to make her way into this world in May, sometime around Mother's day (wouldn't that be a great day to celebrate her birth!).

I've had so many thoughts crowding through my mind lately. Dreams that used to be out of reach are solidly within the realm of possibility. Projects I've looked forward to are now achievable. My mind goes a mile a minute jumping from one thing to another. A garden? Some animals? More quilting? A mini orchard? Permaculture? Having company over just because it is more convienant now? Maybe even a tea party or two?

It all feels urgent as the countdown to baby begins in earnest. About 10 weeks left before my life takes a permanent change, before I have a newborn to take up most of my attention. If I want to start something new, it is either now or not for awhile. I felt the pressure of dreams waiting to be released into reality, dreams I'd waited so patiently for now begging to for freedom.

I wrote them all down--these thoughts crowding through my head. I took each one captive with a pencil and bound it with lead to paper. It all seemed so reasonable as each dream spoke to me--I can do all of this! Was my thought as I researched and studied. And yet, there are a dozen things on that list. More than one a week to do before the baby comes, and the smallest thing on the list involves potty training a toddler (and house training a puppy? I should put that down also...). Ha!

So, the crowd of dreams and thoughts are held at bay, chained to their paper. I step back and realize that even making just two or three of them a reality in the next couple months will be a major accomplishment. I am free to say "no" to the others for now. Or, perhaps, not "no" but simply, "be patient for just a little while longer."

As I think on these dreams, this crowd of self-drive and enthusiasm that I've just said "no" to, it occurs to me:

Perhaps the most freeing word in the English language is "No."

(definitely more than five minutes. There were diapers. And meals to put away. And two toddlers--of the human and canine variety--that needed naps. But! I did it. And that's the most important thing.)

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