Friday, June 29, 2012

Dance of motherhood

Joining Lisa-Jo and others this morning for Five Minute Friday, where we cut the words loose for just five minutes, and see where they fall. No editing, just encouraging the others who play along. The topic today is Identity.

It's like a dance, this journey of motherhood. The give, the take. The weaving in and out through other people, focusing on your partner to the exclusion of the other couples on the floor. Reading signals that no one else can read. Turning what could be a disastrous sprawling calamity into a graceful dance.

I'm awkward now. Its a new dance to me--one commenced 4 weeks and 5 hours ago. I read her signals, but am I always right? That cry--does it say,"I'm tired!" or "I'm really, really REALLY hungry RIGHT NOW mommy!" or "I just want you to hold me, please--and please--hurry!!" Sometimes I can't tell. I have to experiment. Did this work? Yes? Great! Oh, it didn't work? Well, lets try something else.

It's a dance, a give and take. A dance I've wanted to learn for years, but was afraid of. It looked hard. It looked complicated. And it is. But at the same time it's not.

The beginner steps aren't hard--they are very, very simple. I just have to learn her. Her needs are simple. Therefore, the steps are fairly simple now. I move clumsy, but I'm keeping time. I'm doing it, one little step at a time. As she grows her needs will become more complex, the dance steps will be more involved. It starts simple, but it becomes an art form; The dance of motherhood.

Monday, June 25, 2012

It's a girl!

A little over three weeks ago, our little girl was born. Her name is Tirza Salome--it means Beautiful, Pleasant Peace. And she is beautiful--both in name and in person. I am in love all over again. And I'm not the only one. My husband wrote her a beautiful letter for Fathers day. 

The labor was early, fast, and full of the unexpected. It was unexpectedly wonderful, though. I'm in the process of writing our birth story, perhaps I will post it here. 

Tirza, the day she was born
I love watching Tirza. She has an assortment of facial expressions that keep us laughing. She doesn't know what the expressions mean yet, she's just practicing with her muscles. But she is still amusing, and the times that she seems to respond to those around her make us laugh (like yesterday evening, when I asked her if she was sleepy, and she raised a brow as if to say "What do you think?!").

We see this one a lot, and it leads me to believe she'll be an opinionated young lady!
As I sit here writing I am listening to her sleep. Sometimes she snores (which is hilarious in such a tiny baby), but this time she's just cooing. Other people say she looks so tiny, but I can't believe how quickly she has grown.  She looks so different now than she did when she was born, and she's so much bigger and stronger than she was then. Not only is she gaining well over an oz a day, when I put her down for her nap a few minutes ago she held her head up for the first time.

I hadn't planned on taking a blogging break when she was born, but once she was here I didn't want to spend time doing anything else. I have lost all conception of time--it slips by unnoticed as I watch my little one grow and change. I do plan on getting back to writing here regularly, but I'm not sure how much longer it will be, or what (if any) changes I'll make once I am back to writing regularly. We'll see. For now all I want to do is spend time with my bundle of blessings.