Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Ask the Men, part 3

Most of the interview questions for Teachers of Good Things came from conversations and emails between myself and the young ladies at my church. As we talked I realized that there were a few questions that could only be answered by men. So, in a slight departure from our norm, I have a few men who have agreed to share their thoughts on these questions.

In the final installment of Ask the Men Jonathan Rhoades will be joining us. His wife, Amanda was the first of the interviews I posted. As his sister, I can certify that Jonathan's faith is lived both publicly and privately. He has quite a sense of humor, but he also has stands out in both his diligence and ability as a peace maker.

What was the first thing that attracted your attention to your future wife?

Oddly enough, I really can’t remember. We’ve known each other for so long, it just kind of happened. We’ve been friends since we were around 13, and the line between friendship and attraction was kind of blurred. Probably one thing that both attracted me to Amanda, and caused me to not take any actions toward her until much later is that I had some very good friends who expressed an interest to her. This both made me not want to step on their toes, but also realize she was a real catch.

A few of the things that did attract me as I got to know her were here caring sprit, her tom boyish tendencies, her constant desire to be a better person and closer to the Lord, and her love of missions. Plus she’s hot. That definitely helps.

What are the main things that you see lacking in single girls today?

Girls are sitting and waiting for prince charming to come sweep them off their feet, when they should be doing everything they can to prepare for his coming. God will bring you someone in His good timing. If you want to do something to help, focus on preparing yourself spiritually and practically. There’s a bunch of girls out there who want to find a man they can show love to, but don’t know how to fix dinner. There’s a bunch of girls out there who want to raise a family, but don’t have the spiritual backing to do it right. God knows the right timing way better than you do. Use your pre-marriage time focusing on Christ. The right kind of guys will see that spiritual growth, and pursue you because of it.

How would you define a woman who is "prepared" to be married?

A woman is prepared to be married when she has a strong relationship with the Lord such that if her husband were to pass away and leave her in charge of the family, she would be an effective spiritual guide for their children. This could be true of a woman at 18, or a woman of 30. The most important thing is your relationship with the Lord.

If you could say one thing to your sisters in Christ about their single years, what would it be?

You will never get that time back – so use it wisely. When you are single, and especially when you are living in your own home, it is easier to cultivate your relationship with the Lord than any other time. I know it doesn’t seem that way when you are doing school work all day, but it doesn’t get easier. The future probably has more school, a job (possibly both at the same time), marriage, and kids. When you are single, it might not feel like it, but you have much more control over your time, so you should use it effectively and establish your best habits now. When you have a spouse at home, and y’all are home together in the evenings, you expect to spend time with each other, and you really have to make an effort to spend time alone with Christ. When you have kids, it’s about twelve times harder.

Marriage is one of the best things that can happen to you, but if you want a strong marriage, you have to be laying the ground work now.

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