Wednesday, February 15, 2012

An open letter to my husband

Three years ago, today, when we were
promised to each other

My dearest Mr. Richard,

It's been three years. Can you believe that? As of today we have officially been a couple for three years. For me this is a day to remember everything the Lord has taught me through you, and the many reasons I have to be thankful for my husband.  Ephesians 5:25-30 says:

  25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. 28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, 30 because we are members of his body
This passage is an accurate description of the kind of man you have always been to me--both before and after our vows. Your love for me is more than just words,
you love me as Christ loves me--sacrificially. You give yourself up for me on a daily basis, "nourishing and cherishing" me as though I were your own body.

Before we were married you loved me sacrificially by shouldering the burden of leadership from the first moment. You guarded the purity of our relationship with a Godly zeal, and constantly brought us back to Christ. At no point, whether before or after marriage, have you treated your Biblical responsibility as the man in our relationship with anything but the most sober commitment.

After the vows were spoken you continued to put your own desires on hold for me. Often you arrive at home after a hard day at work, and instead of focusing on your own thing you take time to focus on loving me--whether that means helping get dinner on the table, making me slow down for a few minutes and rest, or giving me one of your wonderful head rubs.

22 months ago when you gave me a ring,
and that promise was made public.
You constantly direct my thoughts to the Lord in a variety of ways. Sometimes it is by initiating a time in the evening when we listen to the Bible together. Sometimes it is by suggesting we pray together over some issue--more often than I like to admit I haven't yet thought to pray about the issue myself! Occasionally it is by gently (always gently!) correcting me when you notice a blindspot in my life. Often it is by simply talking about the Lord, unaware that by doing so you are also keeping my mind focused on Him throughout the day. Regardless of how you do it, you have taken the mantle of spiritual leadership in our family very seriously, and that is something that I deeply appreciate.

Your sacrificial love makes it much easier for me to submit to you, as scripture admonishes me to do in many places. When you ask me to submit to a decision you have made, I can do so joyfully because I have absolute confidence that the decision has been made with my best interest in mind. Whether before or after marriage, you have never asked me to do anything that wasn't for my best. 

You are the kind of man I have been told doesn't exists. You listen attentively when I'm telling you about my day (even if I ramble on for quite awhile!). You bring me flowers just because. You encourage me to develop my individual talents. You take an interest in what I'm interested in. You praise me regularly--everything from telling me how pretty I am to noticing when I've made a housekeeping accomplishment. You keep our home full of fun and laughter. On top of that, you also make a mean steak. :-)

I am honored to have the privilege of being your wife. I cannot put into words how much I love you, or how proud I am to be your own wife.

With all my heart,

Your "Miss Lady,"


17 months ago when we sealed the promise,
became man and wife before  God,
and began our best years yet. 

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