Tuesday, November 22, 2011
Difficult times God used
For this post in GreaThings we are looking at difficult times of the past year that we are grateful for.
When looking back over the last year I see that there have been many challenges my husband and I have faced together. Many of them have been alluded to in previous posts of GreaThings, or at other times as I've been writing through this year. But when I think of defining moments of this year, there is only one Difficult Thing that stands out. That is loosing our first little one.
In other posts this year I've talked about the hardships of our loss. I've talked about how to treat a grieving mother. I've told my personal story of loss. I've mentioned that, even though I'm expecting again, I still think about our first nearly every day. I need to point that out, because my focus for this post is going to be very different. Instead of focusing on how hard it was to loose my baby, I want to look at the good that God has been able to work out of the loss.
Encouragement of the Saints--I had no idea before we lost our little one how much little kindnesses count. A listening ear. A bouquet of flowers. A bracelet to remember. Practical help. Our church (primarily, though there were others as well) covered us with love. They grieved as we grieved. But they also encouraged us to find joy in our ashes, to trust God with His plan for our lives, and to carry on.
Shared experience--I'm a practical gal when it comes to most things. I'm not very good and dealing with emotions--especially other people's emotions. It follows that comforting isn't my forte. While that is still true, having now experienced the loss of a child it is much easier to identify with those who are grieving over the same loss. It is easier to feel their pain. Easier to passionately intercede with God on their behalf. Easier to share their tears.
My relationship with my husband--Any major event that doesn't pull a couple together will push them apart. This definitely brought my husband and I closer together as we shared the pain of loss with each other. While our relationship has always been incredibly stable, I doubt we would be where we are today in our depth of understanding of one another if we hadn't shared this difficult experience.
Value of life--Pregnancy is much more valuable to me than it used to be. While I've lost the innocent youthful assumption that nothing could go wrong, I've gained a greater value of time. I understand that there are no guarantees that my current pregnancy will come to term. I pray it will, but God's will may be different and I have accepted that. Because I am constantly aware of the brevity of life I actively value each day that I have with my little one in a way that I don't believe would be possible if I hadn't lost a child.