Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Impatience

Sometimes it is very difficult for me to Be Still. Actually, it USUALLY is difficult for me to be still. I am constantly thinking, constantly planning, constantly doing, constantly making my husband and my schedule 'work.'

My home has suffered tremendously from the bedbug issues we've had, added to the already full Christmas schedule. Essentially I've had MORE to do at home and LESS time to do it in. Now that the bugs are officially gone, we have about 30 bags of clothes, fabric, and towels that need to be unpacked and put away. Plus all the normal stuff that keeps me busy. Plus the fact that I'm coming down with some sort of seasonal sickness.

This morning I was sitting on the couch, writing a couple of long overdue letters, and feeling very frustrated. I have ONE day off before Christmas starts (which is Thursday for us), and that is today. I have the final presents to make/buy. I have the final wedding Thank Yous to send. I have New Years letters to get finalized. I have the menu and basic shopping to do. Not to mention I was sick of the house being messy, and living out of a very disorderly guest bathtub while most of our clothes are bagged on the porch.

And on top of all that I'm sick--and the only thing on The List that I had the energy to do was write a couple of letters.

I was frustrated because I wanted all of this done NOW. I want the house clean TODAY. I want the to-do list completed TODAY. I want the clothes neatly put on hangers TODAY.

But then I realized that even though my impulse to make my home beautiful is natural, in this particular instance it isn't RIGHT. God gives us the strength to accomplish what HE wants us to accomplish. If I don't have the energy to be able to do what I have on my list, well, that means I've been adding unnecessary items to GOD'S list. Impatience is not being satisfied with what God gives us right now.  And I wasn't satisfied.

So for the rest of the day I'm going to battle impatience. I'm going to go from item to item on the list. I'll put the list in the order-of-importance My Man gave me this morning (which wasn't the order I had it in originally :-P). I'm going to complete GOD'S to-do list for me for today--even if I don't get MY list finished.

And you know what?

If God and my man are happy with me at the end of the day, that's enough.

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